The pandemic musings of an insecure graduate.

You start the email, “Dear Recruiter, I hope this finds you well’’

You stop yourself and wonder if it is still appropriate to use this format … given the times.

You back space back space back space.

You start again. It only makes sense that you deviate from the original format, right? I mean what will the recruiter think of you? That you are not aware of the current state affairs, or perhaps that you are unwilling to acknowledge the changed nature of our current existence?

Okay. Try again, this time with more sympathy. You type.

“I hope this email finds you well, despite these trying times.’’

Yes! You think you have it this time. You have not deviated too far from the standard format and you have also acknowledged our new reality. You wonder if the recruiter will even care, you wonder if this email, your nth application for employment, will even find its way to a selection committee. You wonder if it’s even worth continuing the already demoralizing search for work in these times.

Yes!

‘Okay but everybody is working from home?’ you reassure yourself.

‘So maybe it will land on someone’s desk, or couch, or maybe it will find its way to said recruiter’s pet’s tummy?’

You stop and take a breath. You realize that working yourself up will not help and that you too are currently home bound and thus have to extend this sympathy to the selection teams that hold your fate in their inbox folders.

You try again.

“Dear Selection committee –

I hope this email finds you well despite these trying times. Please find attached the required documents in my bid to apply for the advertised vacancy.’’

You pause. You ask yourself, ‘What can I possibly say now, in these times, that would make me stand out as an applicant?’

You think hard. It can’t be insensitive. You wonder if humor could work.

‘Wait. What if my recruiter is somehow affected or has loved ones affected by … all of this?’

You wait.

Okay, you have finally decided.

‘No more deviations from the traditional format Naledi.’

You attach the documents and click send. You watch your email go, with your hopes, dreams and prospective financial security.

You briefly consider if this is the appropriate moment to be thinking so aggressively about your financial security. This consideration remains brief, you know that you will still need food to eat, need a career to build once this moratorium on existence is lifted.

Your heart beats fast again, then slows down. This time you don’t know what inspired that rush of anxiety.

‘Unemployment? A pandemic?’

Or perhaps that both make it really difficult for you to imagine yourself existing in a future outside of your current reality.

You sleep. You wake up. You start again.

‘’Dear HR Manager

I hope this finds you well despite these trying times.’’

**This is more of a stream of consciousness piece so apologies for grammar and the like :)

The incoherent ramblings of a distressed black youth .Obsessed with the culture